Oceans Of Longing
Today I wish to share with you a comforting dream, that I a received from
Him, last Saturday. I hope it brings you as much kindness as it brought to me....
In
my dream I saw a familiar church and myself walking slowly into it,
almost hesitating. It was a pretty church that my beloved and I visited,
this summer in Zadar, Croatia.
The church was crowded with
people. They all laughed, and smiled and talked in a loud voice with
eachother, which is quite common, in The South.
And I
found myself in complete silence, looking carefully around the many
strange yet captivating paintings, which caught my deepest attention,
untill I saw
Him...
In the middle of the church I saw a bed, and roses gently spread around on it, in shifting purpur pink shades and I saw
Him lying on the bed, as a statue, sleeping.
To my amazement It seemed thou nobody else could see him, except me. I do not know why.
But, what I know is that the very moment I saw
Him, it was as If something happened inside of me.
I just had to,
I had to,
place myself down safely in his arms and rest like a dove, as I always
do with my beloved Jimmy, in whom I deeply trust, will never do me any
harm.
I just wanted
Him, to share my silence,
my complete inward silence but also my deepest longing, of being
deeply cared for and protected.
So I laid myself down in his arms like a little child but yet a woman, with a heart deep as the infinite Oceans of longing,
of wanting to be loved. It was so safe lying there, so completely, utterly safe,. It felt as If I could trust
Him, that he would never do me any harm. I was safe and the whole wide world was in complete, breathtaking, beautiful silence.
As
I laid there I began faithfully stroking the hairs on his arm. They
were so soft, like feathers in the gentle wind and he smelled like a
garden of pretty flowers, and he felt so warm, and then it hit me...
He was no longer a statue....Somehow when I laid there he had become real, a living and breathing, comfort.
But then fear came over my heart, with the thought of; 'Now he is in the likeness of a man,
a man,
( ! ) and a man can hurt you in so many, many ways, you better go!' But
- I decided not to go. My heart was pounding faster and faster and I was afraid,
but I would not get up and go. I chose to stay and rest in
His arms,
even If I was afraid, even too afraid to now look into
His eyes, but
yet, I would stay...
And I stayed and I laid there
quietly next to
Him in a bed of sweet, shifting, purpur pink, roses, with my eyes closed, and I
chose not to be afraid. I chose to believe that I could be loved and found beautiful...
With Love Jasmina